update on Caleb

Remember awhile back when I posted about that growth above Caleb's eye??

Remember when it looked like this....

That picture was taken a mere 3 months ago. And if you remember correctly, I posted how he pulled it off...and it bled and bled and bled.

And then it looked like this....

And now....well. TAKE A LOOK.

let me ask you all a question.

answer this...

Do you see anything above his right eye??

Do ya??

Look again if you're not sure.

NOPE! There is nothing there.

nothing.

It is gone.

Gone I tell ya.

Sometime before Christmas his Pyogenic Granuloma was once again ripped off. Okay! I'll admit it. By me. But I didn't mean too. I was trying to put his shirt on over his head, and well....it just sorta came off. And it bled. But not for long.

But the most important thing is that it has not grown back like it did before.

Brandon told me a week or so later that he had been praying for it to just come off by itself so that we wouldn't have to put our sweet boy under anesthesia if we didn't have too....

and low and behold. Here we are now. I really believe God had his hand in all of it because no one can believe that it hasn't grown back. And we still have not heard back from the doctor's office that we took him too to have it removed. And we definitely should have by now. Is that a coincidence?? I think not people!

Anyway, I asked his pediatrician to look at it and these are his words not mine,

"well, it's not totally gone. The only way to have it totally gone is to have it removed through surgery. But it looks fine and does not need to come off. It's up to you as his parents. If, say, he grows up and it grows too and he comes to you at 11 and says "mom...Susie won't love me because of this thing on my eye!" then you can have it removed"

WHAT a relief!

So we will wait and see what happens as he gets older.

We are feeling so blessed right now. Especially to see how something that can be thought of as not a big deal to some, really is a big deal to Him. It brings a smile to our face to see that it has been taken care of by a Great Physician who knows more than us.

My son. He's very productive. What does he do with his time while he is in time out in his room??

Lines up all his shoes. Yep.

He must have been really thinking about what he did wrong while he was back there.

At least his shoes were nicely organized. Too bad they didn't look like that IN his closet.

rambling from mom

So, I have been a pretty bad blogger. Life has been so busy. But at the same time, I don't know what I have even done with my time lately. It's like I wake up, we have lunch, and then I look at the clock and it's time for bed again. I don't even know how it happens. But life seems to be flying by right now.

I hear something new out of my 3 year old's mouth every day. Words and sentences I didn't even know he knew. When we couldn't find something down in the basement the other day he looked up at me and said, "well, mom it must just be upstairs" Yep. It must be buddy. When did you know what all those words meant when put together like that??

My baby is 8 months old. Yep. 8 months old. Don't ask me when that happened...and what has gone on the past 8 months. Because I honestly couldn't tell you.

I don't know if it's because of the winter months and it being absolutely freezing outside or if it's the poor management of my time lately that has made me feel just......well..... "ugh." All I can seem to envision these days is playing and running around with my kids...and then I don't feel like I do. (on a side note, those visions include the sun brightly shining and it being over 70 degrees outside).

I don't know if it's my mommy guilt creeping up on me again. (I have posted on that before...) but it's like I want more out of life right now. But I don't know how much more I can get. My kids are great. They are seriously hilarious and make us laugh literally all day long. Our marriage seems to be the best it's ever been right now, but yet I can't shake this feeling of being not good enough.

I want to be the mom that reads exactly 20 minutes a day with her kids so that it "inspires a lifetime love of learning" (thinks Nick Jr for reminding me of that as I let my kid watch the 2nd or 3rd episode of Go Diego Go), I want to just play with my kids all day long and not be the mom who worries that there are dishes in the sink or laundry to be thrown in the washer. I want to be the mom that is more than happy to change her kids 4th poopy diaper of the day because he is healthy and strong and beautiful and I am blessed. I want to be the mom that is capable of getting anywhere before 10am, and on time with both kids happy, fed, changed, and of course looking great. I want to be the mom who is up before her kids get up and is showered and dressed to greet the day God has given us.

I want to be the wife who gets up before her husband and makes him some coffee and packs him a lunch. (with an added little love note for him to see when he eats that great fabulous lunch) I want to be the wife who does things without grumbling and complaining when hubby asks. I want to be submissive to him....so he knows how much I do cherish his leadership and love. (One day I will meet that Proverbs 31 woman!!)

WHY am I feeling like this?? I'm not feeling far from God, I'm not feeling far from my family. I am just feeling like I am this inadequate woman walking around knowing she wants these things but doesn't make it happen.

So, I felt like maybe if I rambled about it on my blog, then maybe just maybe I had some accountability to myself. And well, to have these feelings down to look at years from now will make me feel better. And future me will probably laugh at past me thinking...."you silly girl! You were everything you wanted to be! You just didn't see it!" I seriously hope that is what she says.

So, wow, this is quite the rambling and probably doesn't make sense to all of you who read this blog. (Which by the way, I don't even know who reads this anymore.) But these are words I needed to get down, so I can move on and try to get rid of these feelings once again.

No one ever told me that being a mom would be the hardest, but the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my whole entire life.

remembering christmas

This year by far has been one of our most fun Christmas's yet. Luke was old enough to really "get" it and Caleb, well, he throughly enjoyed himself too. But now that this post is well considered "old" in blogging world, I want to take time to really relish the moments of this past Christmas.

I don't ever want to forget:

The tiny voice saying "go to sleep mom!" from inside a dark warm room on Christmas Eve.

The way my boys opened all their gifts and enjoyed every one of them. Luke especially saying "oh man!" every single time. And Caleb getting really excited over his Puffs and Baby Food.

The memories made on Christmas Eve with my family and there being so many gifts you could barely see Caleb in the pile.

The memories made on Christmas Day with Brandon's family.

The joy in watching my boys and my sweet nephew finally being able to really play together. (okay more Luke and Jayden then Caleb, but it was so precious!)

Baking cookies with my kids and my cousins and family.

Hearing my husband read the story of Jesus' birth to my 3 year old.

Watching Luke's face light up and yelling the color of the lights he saw when looking at them.

Caleb's first Christmas.

Trying to get a picture of all 13 kids together at our small group Christmas.

The joy in knowing a Savior came to us that night to save us all.

It really was a magical time and we are so blessed to have our family and friends! It was definetly a Christmas to remember.

8 months

8 months old.

He is 8 months old today.

Why is he growing up faster than Luke ever did??

at 8 months Caleb Benjamen is:

*the happiest baby ever. He rarely gets upset, and when he does it's only because he's hungry or tired.

*so predictable. He is ready for bed at exactly 8pm. It doesn't matter if he had just had dinner at 6pm or if we are out somewhere exciting, he is READY. He cries and cries until you give him his jammies, bottle, blankie, and paci, and then off to bed he goes. No trouble at all. Had did we get so lucky?!?

*so in love with his big brother. He lights up whenever Luke walks into the room and smiles constantly at him. It really is the sweetest thing to see Luke talk, smile, kiss, love on, and share with his brother. I can't wait to see what these boys are like together as time goes on.

*so hilarious. He makes us laugh all the time with his little gestures and head/shoulder thing (see previous posts).

*saying a few more babble words and I swear I hear him say "mom" or "mom mom" and there are times I think he tries to say Luke because he will make this throaty razzy sound when he sees him.

*still not rolling over. But we are pretty sure he can, he just won't. He is just content sitting up and having his toys and whatever else he wants brought to him by his brother. He will sit on his hands and knees if I put him like that and rock back and forth, but it doesn't last long until he realizes he has to work at it and starts crying. It's so hilarious!

*our cuddly boy. We always thought Luke was a cuddler, but watch out! this boy will snuggle you all day if you let him. We picked him up from the nursery yesterday at church and they said, "He didn't want to play, he just snuggled us the whole time!" and the lady said, "I don't want to give him up!"

*cutting more teeth, all 4 on top and one on his bottom. But we can really tell the one on the bottom is going to be the next to come in because it's more white then the top ones.

*so in love with his Scout! He loves that toy and will kiss it and snuggle it. It's so sweet.

*a bouncer! he will bounce in his excersaucer and bouncer all day long if you let him.

*hilarious in the bath tub. He loves it so much and is now sitting up in the tub all byhimself with his brother. Which both boys think is pretty cool. He squeals all the time while taking a bath.

*is on Stage 2 foods and the foods I make at home I am making a little thicker, but he is really loving crackers and puffs right now. I think he is going to be like his brother when he comes wanting to be on table food only at 9 months. He would rather have whatever we are eating than his food.

*taking 2 1.5-2hour naps a day. Around 10:30 and then again around 2ish. It all depends on when he wakes up which is usually sometime in the 8am hour. He goes to bed around 8pm and sleeps 12 hours at night. He is a GREAT sleeper.

*reaching out for people and has been since about 6 months old, I can't remember if I posted this last time or not.

*slowing down in weight. he is about 19lbs (I will know for sure on Wednesday), which is how big Luke was at a year. It's funny to see him in the clothes that Luke wore when he was walking around.